Maybe I'm just a rock.

Those who know me probably will get the double-meaning for my blog title.

For those who cannot think of something or simply do not know, then here are some possible interpretations to that of my blog title "Maybe I'm just a rock." A rock can mean what? It's an object. What kind of object? A seemingly non-living thing that doesn't move or "live". To be a rock someone would have to non-exist and not care about anything. Just sit there. And don't move. To imply that I may be a rock could mean that I am a non-living non-caring being. Pretty deep huh?

In all honesty that's not the reason I named the blog that... but I care not to share the real meaning on here. That's the beauty of literature isn't it? Open to make different interpretations. You don't know what the truth is, right? I know the truth. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to write a book about all the truths I know... just see.. I might even publish it, or just hand it out to those I think would benefit from reading my thoughts. I mean, after all, I'M surely not GOD, right? XD hahaha.. what if I was? Oh boy... of how the world would be....

Okay... so the REAL reason behind this blog.... I was reading a book for class and I just had a brilliant idea strike me. I had to write it down, but I don't have pencil or paper. So then I had another idea! What if, in this very moment that the idea has freshly appeared into my brain, I write it in a blog?

What if what real could be bent and changed by belief and by group thought?

What if reality completely recoded itself, restarted, reshaped just by the power of humans or if you want to delve into spirituality by group thought, group soul, something!!!!

I say this, because I feel like my reality is bending towards a way that I'm pretty excited about.. Maybe I'm just crazy, but sometimes I really do absolutely believe that I can become a Jedi... and that the Force is REAL!! lmao.. I'm a major geek, I know. ^^;; What I mean by "my reality is bending" is more like... as I was reading that book on how movies are made and what makes great movies (actually reading about the history of the movie studios like MGM or Disney or 20th Century Fox, or.. you get the idea lol) I felt all warm. I actually could feel the tingly sensation of heat waves on my skin and a kind warm flow over my body. What was I feeling? Of course, immediately, being programmed as a Christian as a child, I felt like maybe my soul was in HELL!! Was I being condemned??? As soon as I start thinking about my past sins, and about how my friends that I love and care for were all supposedly going to Hell for not believing in Jesus or God or the ONE WAY, I felt like I was ("Nude" by Radiohead is playing currently, omgosh the lyrics just said "you go to Hell... for what you've done"... HOW CREEPY) ON FIRE. See, right now.. as I am blogging I have bent reality. I feel the warm feeling I had and twisted it to be conceived as hellfire. My thoughts were negative.

But what was this feeling?

It was just warmth. It didn't have to be hellfire. So I kept interpreting this feeling. All of a sudden, I mused over the idea that maybe this feeling was the FORCE! Bear with me here.

As I was feeling this warm feeling, my thoughts seconds earlier were on the idea that maybe I'll break into the movie industry (you know, work for one of these great studios I'm learning about) and make films how I want... maybe the typical Hollywood style or maybe not. Who knows? But I was envisioning changing people's minds to be more at peace with the world, with this reality, that they would get something out of my vision. Out of my paintings if I do more, out of youtube movies, out of books (or half-finished- books) that I write, out of my blogs, out of my weird drawings or out of my dA blogs or even poems for that matter. Maybe this is what I'm meant to do... now that I think about it.

I should just continue making art and doing things I love to impact the world.

Deep down, I really want to beome a philosopher. Not to be famous, but to impact people. If getting my message out there helps change the world for the better, that's all I want.

Karl Marx says, "The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways. The point, however, is to change it."

I've looked at that quote and I've pondered on it ALOT... how can I change the world???

By getting my message out there! Like this. Blogging. I need to stop telling myself that no one reads my blogs or that no one looks at my art on dA. I have gotten favorited before and I have gotten comments on this very blog by someone who I don't even know!!! So if you're reading this, this is Kitchenyou10sull telling you to leave a comment. I love feedback! Thanks... maybe I'm pompous. lol. I bet no one reads.. lol.. I dono.. I know my girl does, and I love her! <3 AMY

Okay.. sorry for the tangent. ::heavy sigh:: where was I? bending reality? Yes, the warm feeling... so if I was thinking about the FUTURE and this warm feeling was the FORCE... then was I diving into the Dark Side of the Force? Is that why the warm feeling felt almost on the edge of being TOO hot.. like flames?? I sighed, remembered Yoda's teaching: The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.

Instead of concentrating on the future, I should concentrate on the now as well.. so I thought about how much I love Amy and how I'm doing everything I possibly can right now to get to her. And I was happy. I missed her, but I was happy. Because I WILL get to see her again. Immediately, that warm scary feeling I got was lifted out of me... and then I got that idea:

What if reality can be changed? Bended by our own minds or even by other people's thoughts interacting and changing the world?

What if we were god... ah, but that's in the book I'm writing.. So I'll stop there. >.>

What if you 100% believed you saw a man that "wasn't" there. People would call you names. Crazy... schizophrenic. But what if you really SAW that man?? What if you had absolutely no doubt? The problem is, you don't have believers or followers. Those who can see that man as well.

As soon as you get people "seeing" the man you REALLY DO SEE, then it becomes reality. Or at least questioned.

Wait a minute, that girl says she saw the man too! "oh well, they're both crazy" one may respond.

But as soon as you get more and more people to actually 100% believe in that they're seeing a man, then it may not be reality... but isn't it the single reality of that man? Once his reality penetrates YOURS then will you see his reality.

The Bible sort of mentions this actually. It's a long book of God imploring all of us to just surrender to God... surrender to the Christian faith. Believe with all your heart. No doubt.

Once you attain faith like that, people will enter this new reality where everything happens and all the outcomes and befores and afters fit nice and snug in this new reality.

But here I am.. I'm 100% believing that I'm a jedi, and as soon as I entered that reality, I felt better. I was thinking about Amy, I was thinking how happy I was to be alive and that I have goals in life, I was happy. Is this not what our souls want in this world?

So this world... it's just a reality to you. And what you believe.

What you believe could be everything you've been told..

Or you can take other ideas people have told you and shape your own reality.

Either way, just by you reading this, you are being told what to believe.

So what is real?

We may never know... because perhaps it does not exist.

Reality and Truths may be subjective.. and maybe that's the only absolutely true statement.

There is Absolute Truth: The Truth that Truth is subjective.

But then again... maybe I'm just a rock..