people do think

"My way of thinking is heavily influenced by Dao... not a religion, rather more like a philosophy but that's not exactly it either. It's more like a frame of mind. It's helped me come to a sort of balance...
I think there's a way things are supposed to happen, not destiny and not a higher consciousness either. I believe in cause and effect as the fundamental rule, spawning the intricate and beautiful model of necessity - if something needs to occur, if it needs to happen, it will. This need is relative and shifts all the time, it's never clearly defined, but at one certain moment, one instant in time when there is potential for a certain effect to take place, necessity is the decisive factor and solves the question weather it will happen or not. (again, not as a sentience, rather as a force) And it is my belief that we have the ability to influence this process.
... Hard for me to explain in writing, at least in a manageable amount of words..."

This was posted on a topic in Deviantart. I smiled.

Last night I sat at a concrete table surrounded by women drinking wine. They talked mostly about the politics of Reading and even took time to jab at my personal love life. These women are mostly neighbours. And the one mentioned how she saw me with a dude and how I was, as she puts it, "glowing." Little did she know I had just come down from a ten minute trip off salvia. Plus, I generally am in a good mood around my friends. Just because I'm happy and with a boy doesn't mean I'm fucking him. Doesn't even mean I WANT to fuck him. And of course, as they try to call me out on something I never did, I started to blush and grin and feel mighty uncomfortable. Kay piped in with "don't you have a girlfriend?" and I nodded and said "yeah that's why this is a bunch of bullshit!"

Needless to say, I was quiet for the rest of the evening. I had work anyways.

But, as I sat on the steps just outside my house, away from the drunken laughter, my neighbour who lives to the right of me joined me. He usually sits on those steps drinking a glass of wine while smoking a cigarette. He told me that I'm a zombie. I chuckled and asked why.

"Zombies are dead. They don't have much energy. Just wander around and are psychologically removed from this reality..."

it was too true to ignore.

am I dead?